


In the Name of Science

by curiouscorvid (prometheanTactician)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: College AU, M/M, the last 300 words or is mild smut but the rest is sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 16:11:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prometheanTactician/pseuds/curiouscorvid
Summary: “I already knew about this. That’s my department.” He informed, regarding the advertisement for participants in a study on the psychology of romantic couples. “Are you interested?”“Are you kidding? It’s easy money. You bet your ass I’m interested.” He was grinning that usual car salesman grin. Jonathan hated that smile.“I wasn’t aware you had a girlfriend.” Uninterested, he straightened up and turned away, intending to return to his bed when Edward spoke.“Oh, I don’t. But I do have a roommate who’s just as strapped for cash as I am.” Jon froze halfway to his bed, not turning as he replied to Edward’s outrageous implications.“…What exactly are you suggesting.”“Your tone tells me you already know.”





	In the Name of Science

**Author's Note:**

> For secret scriddler! ♥ I hope y'all like it. Turned out longer than intended. Lemme know what you think!

Jonathan Crane and Edward Nygma were well-suited as roommates, though one would not think so from meeting them. To speak to either would suggest a clash in their personalities. Edward was loud, colorful, dramatic, and never stopped his incessant chatter. He was always grinning, being a smartass, and showing off in the most obnoxious ways he could think of. Jonathan was his opposite. He did not believe in wasting words. He kept quiet more often than not, and when he did speak his voice was soft. He had no patience for the foolishness of others or wasting his time. The look he gave those that annoyed him was enough to silence even the most persistent of people. So, certainly someone like Edward would be unbearable for him.

Edward in public and Edward in private were two very different people. Out on campus and in class, he was social and charming. In their room, he would sit on his bed with his laptop and barely speak a word aside from occasionally talking to himself under his breath. Jonathan would settle on his own bed with one of his many, many books, remaining as still and quiet as the grave as he read. Edward was not still. He never stopped moving, even if all he did was fidget. They hardly even looked at each other, let alone spoke. They knew nothing about each other. Yet, one evening, Edward decided to change that.

“Jonathan,” honestly, it was surprising that Edward even knew his name. But he rarely seemed to forget anything, so perhaps Jon was wrong to be surprised. “Come take a look at this.”

Jonathan was very rarely inclined to do anything someone told him to do, but it was extremely rare that his roommate would interrupt his reading, and rarer still that he’d be invited to look at his computer. So, curious and confused, Jon got up to look as Edward turned the screen towards him. The Facebook post he was shown made him frown.

“I already knew about this. That’s my department.” He informed, regarding the advertisement for participants in a study on the psychology of romantic couples. “Are you interested?”

“Are you kidding? It’s easy money. You bet your ass I’m interested.” He was grinning that usual car salesman grin. Jonathan hated that smile.

“I wasn’t aware you had a girlfriend.” Uninterested, he straightened up and turned away, intending to return to his bed when Edward spoke.

“Oh, I don’t. But I do have a roommate who’s just as strapped for cash as I am.” Jon froze halfway to his bed, not turning as he replied to Edward’s outrageous implications.

“…What exactly are you suggesting.”

“Your tone tells me you already know.” Jon heard movement behind himself. Edward was putting his laptop aside to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. “We go into the study, pretend to be a couple, bullshit our way through it and get some money.”

“We’re both men.” Jonathan finally turned to him with mounting confusion. Edward simply raised a meticulously shaped eyebrow.

“So? Is the study specifically for straight couples?”

“Well, no-”

“Then why would it be a problem?” Edward asked in a sickeningly sweet tone, tilting his head as if in innocent curiosity. It was more than clear that this was a challenge. A test. He was daring Jon to say something offensive. Well. He’d be sorely disappointed.

“It isn’t.” He said simply, meeting Edward’s gaze with equal stubbornness. “I suppose we’ll need to go sign up.”

“I suppose we will.” Edward gestured dramatically to the door. “After you, dear.”

He rolled his eyes as he exited their room.

 

\----

 

“Do you feel proud to declare us a couple?” Edward fluttered his eyelashes, leaning in close where he sat beside Jonathan. The taller man simply leaned away, side-eyeing his companion something fierce.

“Less so with each passing moment.” He replied dryly, causing Edward to lean away with a pout.

“Rude.” He huffed, looking back down at the question sheet they’d been given. “Well, you can’t put that down.”

“Why not? Perhaps our relationship is going poorly.”

“Perhaps it wouldn’t if _someone_ wasn’t so emotionally distant.”

“If you think me emotionally distant then perhaps the true problem lies in your inability to decipher my displays of affection.” Jonathan shot back easily, pencil never stopping. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

“You won’t _let_ me know you!” Edward exclaimed dramatically, drawing attention from the few people sat around them with their own sheets of paper. “We never talk anymore. What happened, Jonny? Where did we go so wrong?”

“Don’t call me Jonny.”

“God! Just rip my heart out, why don’t you?” He feigned being close to tears, before a smile broke over his face again. “But in all seriousness, can we at least pretend to be in a functional relationship?”

“This was not my idea, Edward. You’re lucky I’m even going along with it. You have no reason to expect I’d cater to further demands, especially when they are of no benefit to myself.” There was a pause, which struck Jon as strange. For silence to fall, Edward would need to stop talking. Edward, he had quickly found, rarely stopped talking. He looked up from his page finally to find the redhead frowning down at his sheet in what seemed to be sincere disappointment. Despite himself, the psychologist in Jonathan had to ask: “Why does it matter to you?”

“It doesn’t,” Edward shrugged. “Not really. Just, if I were ever to actually… bother with a relationship… If I were to willingly choose to let someone into my life that way, I’d want it to go better than it did with the people I was forced to let into my life.”

Subtly, Jon glanced down at Edward’s sheet. There were questions regarding their past relationships, friendships, and family ties. They were all quite sparse for Edward. Seemingly only one meaningful friendship, no real relationships. Then there was his family. The section for his father took up every blank line the other sections left. The handwriting went from controlled and concise to scribbled and furious towards the end. It wasn’t a huge leap for Jonathan to decipher why this mattered so much to Edward.

“…I’m quite proud.” He offered, catching the other by surprise. Ed’s head snapped up, eyes wide as he regarded Jonathan, who just met his gaze calmly. “You’re intelligent, and attractive, and charming. Entirely out of my league.” It was fascinating, watching the emotions playing in Edward’s eyes as he took in the words being said. His earlier despondency was so easily overtaken by a strange look of wonder. “How someone like me managed to attract the attention of one such as you is truly a marvel. An endless source of confusion for me, but you will never hear me complain.”

There was a lovely blush dusting Edward’s cheeks by time Jonathan finished speaking. It hadn’t been a lie, saying that Edward was attractive. He was truly a sight to behold, especially when flustered. He looked away finally, blinking rapidly, and for a moment Jon thought the man might burst into tears. He did not. He simply cleared his throat.

“Well… I would argue that… I am not out of your league at all. You’re smart. You’re… you’re brilliant, Jonathan, and… it’s very rare that I can find someone who manages to keep up with me.” He spoke quietly, much softer than anything Jon had heard from him previous. “…And you’re not as entirely unattractive as you seem to think. You have lovely cheekbones, and your eyes are-” Edward’s voice dropped off for a moment. Such a curious reaction. Jon observed him carefully as he continued, watched as Edward licked his lips quickly before continuing. “You have such bright, bright eyes. Beautiful. Breath-taking.” He finally looked at Jon again, meeting the eyes he was describing with such generous words. “I could take them in for hours.”

There was silence between them as Edward finished speaking. Somewhere during their conversation and shaping their fake relationship, the words began to feel sincere. Jon knew it was all fake, he knew it was all a trick to get money from the university, but no one had ever said anything so kind to him before. No one had ever looked at him with the strange, dreamy stare Edward was fixing him with. 

Jon was hit with the alarming thought that he would rather like to kiss Edward.

Suddenly, their plan seemed like a very dangerous idea indeed.

Edward broke their gaze first, clearing his throat again and trying to focus on the next question.

“Do I… get along with your parents?” He asked, and the forced quality of his casual tone was not lost in the space between them. There was a tension in the air that neither of them really knew how to navigate.

“No. No, my… my parents are long gone. I was raised by my great-grandmother…”

“And you aren’t out to her.” Edward guessed, not at all surprised when Jon nodded.

“I really thought she was going to kill me, the night I left Georgia. Said higher education would lead me further down the devil’s path. Said college campus’ were havens of sin.”

“Well, I mean… She’s not _wrong_ about that, really.” They both laughed a little at that, but Jon’s smile quickly turned strained.

“I think she’d kill me for sure, if she knew about…”

“So… you’re gay, then?” Edward asked, tapping his pencil against the paper. “I never asked.” His response was simply a nod. He did not press further.

“And you? Do I get along with your parents?”

“My mother seemed reluctantly tolerant the few times you met her, emphasis on ‘reluctant.’” Edward told him, watching as Jon’s pencil started moving again. “My father… reacted poorly.”

“Because he disapproved of me or of my gender?” Edward simply shrugged.

“Both, probably. He disapproves of everything I do. Don’t think it came as a shock to him. He always said I looked like a f-… Like a… y’know. Still, any excuse to hurt me.” He sounded almost casual about it. Almost. “You met him once. Never again after. You’ll never forgive him for how he treated me. If you ever met him again, he’d be the one with reason to fear. Not us.” Edward weaved his tale without a glance at Jon, eyes somewhere far away. Jonathan did not argue with the words. “And you? You would never hurt me. Not ever.” He shook his head almost violently, a strange passion in his voice as if what they were speaking of was real.

“No. I wouldn’t.” Jon confirmed softly, snapping Edward out of his reverie. The other man was shaking, Jon noted, albeit just a little. His hand was trembling where he held the pencil. “We can continue tomorrow, if this is upsetting you-”

“I’m fine.” He insisted immediately, shaking his head again. “…Maybe we should um… talk about this more over coffee? Or just… get to know each other more?” His teeth caught his lip, chewing nervously as he regarded his roommate. “We shouldn’t just wing it the whole time. They’ll catch on easier.”

Jon leveled him with a steady gaze, absolutely stoic as he spoke.

“Are you asking me on a date, Edward?”

“I- can’t two guys hang out without it being a date?” Ed snapped, face flushing red. “Just forget it. I didn’t even want to-”

“I was just joking.” The assurance was just as monotone as everything else. Jon was utterly expressionless. There was no indication he was joking. Edward couldn’t keep himself from laughing.

 

\----

 

Weeks went by. Edward and Jon would meet in the psychology building every day to answer questions and take tests. Every time, they would go out for coffee afterward. It was… pleasant. Even Jon, who was not one for socialization, had to admit it. The two clicked in a way they had never experienced before, and found themselves craving further time together.

Neither of them mentioned that feeling or acted on it.

As soon as they returned to their room, it was as if none of it ever happened. Like they were strangers again. Like they didn’t know each others dark family histories, like they hadn’t been laughing together mere minutes before. Like they meant nothing to each other. If you had asked either of them candidly outside of the test, they would agree that that was indeed the case. They meant nothing to each other.

Both of them were horrible liars.

Jonathan was not expecting any calls when his phone rang. He had maybe one friend, and even then he wasn’t sure they qualified as friends. He didn’t know what friendship involved. Perhaps unexpected calls at three in the morning was simply a part of that, but it wasn’t as if he was sleeping in the first place. His hand closed around the cheap plastic of the flip-phone. Edward commented on it every time they went out. It was happening more and more lately that every time Jon tried to do something, it would somehow remind him of Edward.

“Hello?” He answered, only half listening to the person on the other end.

“Jonny!” Harley Quinzel greeted enthusiastically. There was a commotion in the background, a cacophony of voices and music that made Jon cringe. “Shoulda known you’d be up! Listen, I need you to come down and pick up your boyfriend!” Harley was yelling into the phone, struggling to be heard over the noise.

“Boyfriend? I don’t have a-” His eyes fell on Edward’s empty bed, and he sighed in resignation, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Where is he.” He inquired quite flatly.  
“We’re in the bar up the road! He seemed to be in a bad way, an’ since you ‘n me are friends I wanted to help him out, y’know? Think he overdid it a lil.” She dragged out ‘think,’ not sounding too concerned. Was someone crying in the background? “Poor guy is a mess. Cryin’ about god knows what. Somethin’ to do with you I guess? I think it’s high time he called it a night.”

“I think you’re right. I’ll be over in a moment.” He got up, and was about to hang up before hesitating and weighing the words in his head. “…Thank you, Harleen. I appreciate this.”

“Hey, it’s no worries! That’s what friends do! Get each others lovers wasted as hell ‘n then call ‘em to clean up the mess!” She laughed loudly, despite the clear crying nearby. Jon sighed as he hung up and grabbed his coat. God, his boyfriend was a handful.

…Roommate. His roommate. His roommate and fake boyfriend.

He wasn’t personally familiar with the establishment, but it was well-known among students regardless. It was nearby, and rather the place to be for stressed out college kids, of which there were many. Jon didn’t see how this was any less stressful. The noise, the crowds, the heat and the smell - It all seemed so awful to him. Thankfully, there was no need for him to head inside. Harley was standing just outside of the building, holding up an incredibly weepy young man.

Edward was, as Harley had said, a mess. Hiccuping both from sobs and drunkenness, he could hardly keep himself upright. It was rather impressive that Harley was able to hold him up in the first place. She grinned brightly when she saw Jon, immediately shifting Edward off of herself and handing him over. Edward put up no resistance, he flopped hard against the much taller man, almost knocking him over. Jonathan was not a very solidly built person. He took hold of Edward’s shoulders to pry him off and hold him up, but the crying man was too busy clinging to him and sobbing into his coat to notice.

“Thank you again, Harleen.” Jon addressed her with a nod, trying to find the most efficient way to support Edward’s weight.

“Honestly, I should probably apologize. He wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t invited him.” She admitted almost sheepishly, still smiling all the while. Jon couldn’t remember ever seeing her not smiling. Even in class, she wore a private little grin, as if she’d thought of something funny.

“All the same. I appreciate you not leaving him here in this state as others might have.”

“Wouldn’t be a very good friend if I left your poor, drunk boyfriend to fend for himself in this cold, harsh world.” She joked, lifting her arms up over her head and clutching her hands together in a stretch, rocking onto the tips of her toes. She let her posture drop and relax, arms swinging back at her sides. “Anyway, I should get back to Red now. She gets worried if I wander off for too long.”

Before Jonathan could say anything else, Harley practically skipped away, pigtails bouncing as she moved. He watched her go for just a moment before a particularly loud sob brought his attention to the man hanging off of him. Edward had his face half-buried in Jon’s jacket, his cheeks red from the crying and the cold. He was shaking, Jon noted. No coat or sweater despite the autumn chill. Edward often ran warm and tended to leave such things at home. For someone so smart, he could certainly be short-sighted.  
Carefully, Jon set Edward up to stand on his own despite the swaying, and especially despite the whining and weak grasping as he was pried away from his companion. Their dorm was only a quick jaunt from where they were, but Edward was already freezing. Jonathan did not question or think too deeply about why he was doing this. He did not consider why he cared so much. He didn’t want to, because it would not lead anywhere. It was just for appearances, he told himself. To sell the lie. So he dropped his coat onto Edward’s shoulders, the large garment swallowing up the shorter man.

It was the strangest thing. The jacket hit his shoulders and Edward blinked with a sudden, brief clarity. Once. Twice. Then he stopped reaching for Jon, opting instead to pull the jacket closer around himself, snuggling into the fabric happily. It was almost cute.

Jon banished that thought the moment it crossed his mind.

Edward was easily led after that, and much quieter besides. The sobbing was reduced to simply the occasional jolt, and he was no longer babbling about whatever had upset him. Jon put an arm around him to keep him upright, and Edward leaned into it and let himself be led home. When they got there, however, problems began to arise.

“Edward,” Jon began with the last shreds of his patience. “Give me my coat.”

Edward simply shook his head and sunk deeper into the warmth of it.

“I need to hang it up.” Jon insisted, but Edward simply denied him once more. Jon sighed harshly, pressing a hand to his eyes beneath his glasses and trying to remain calm. “Edward-”

“It smells nice.” Edward’s voice was soft, for once, when he cut Jon off. It didn’t sound like him at all. That was enough to stop Jonathan short, dropping his hand to regard the drunk man properly. “Smells like you.”

“I would imagine so. It’s my coat.” Came the deadpan reply as Jon tried his best to ignore the butterflies fluttering about within him. How childish, to get so… pleased about something so ridiculous.

“It’s like…” Edward began, mumbling incoherently for a moment before trying again. “S’like… like you. It’s like you.”

“Like me.” Edward simply nodded.

“Like you’re holding me.” He told the coat, and for just a moment Jonathan was certain his heart had stopped.

“…Give me the coat.” He insisted, and the moment he said it Edward burst into tears. His shoulders shook and he let go of the coat to bury his face in his hands but it did nothing to muffle the broken sobbing that escaped him. He was saying something, Jon realized after a moment of watching in horror.

“But you won’t- you won’t-” He babbled something indecipherable. “This- it’s- as close as I can get- you won’t- you’d never-” He kept going, but both the booze and the tears mixed to make it impossible to understand. Jon gave up trying quite quickly once realizing the effort was futile. “- Just want you to- to hold me-”

“I’m taking my coat.” Jon told him sternly, grabbing the coat and pulling it easily from his shoulders. Edward protested weakly and reached for it, but his clumsy fingers couldn’t get a grip. He turned his back on the mess that was Edward Nygma, heading to the closet to hang up his coat. He took a moment to breathe and calm himself before heading back over, but it wasn’t anger he was feeling or even frustration. He didn’t know what was gripping his heart so cruelly, but he decidedly disliked it.

Eventually he went back over to urge Edward into bed, making him at least lie down before giving up trying to work with him at all. He shut off the lights with a heavy sigh, climbing into his own bed, thoroughly exhausted. He wouldn’t be getting any sleep so long as Edward kept crying. Jon needed absolute silence. Ed just wouldn’t stop though, was going on and on a mile a minute, half of which Jon didn’t even think were real words. The other half… Well, he didn’t really want to think about those. But they were getting hard to ignore.

“No one likes me. No one wants me.” Edward told his pillow shakily. “The first- the only- the one person to- to finally treat me like- like he- he wants me around or- or likes me is- is faking- you’re- he’s faking- it’s all a trick and a lie and I just- just want you to love me-”

“Go to sleep, Edward.”

“I love you.”

“No you don’t, Edward.”

He didn’t say anything else that night.

 

\----

 

“I think we should quit the experiment.”

Jon tried to meet Edward’s eyes, but the shorter man was stubbornly avoiding his gaze. That was irksome, Jonathan thought. If he was being fake-broken up with by his fake-boyfriend then he at least deserved to be looked in the eye.

“Is that so.”

“Oh come on, like you weren’t going to suggest the same.” Edward gestured dramatically before crossing his arms, glancing at Jon for just a moment before quickly looking away again.

“I wasn’t, actually.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“God, can you just-” Edward was restless, shifting where he stood, moving his hands and arms as he spoke and occasionally tugging his hair in frustration. “You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me you’re still willing to do this!”

“I can, actually, if you would dare meet my eye.” He challenged, and immediately Edward was looking at him. Finally. The annoyed, frustrated determination softened instantly into embarrassment and shame, his shoulders slumping. It looked less like he was crossing his arms and more like he was hugging himself. He looked away again.

“…I can’t do this anymore.” He admitted quietly. “I can’t keep pretending I don’t like you while you have to pretend you want to associate with me at all. I feel like I’m dying.” Ah, Edward, ever the drama king.

“You feel like you’re breaking inside.” Jon offered, posture relaxed and tone unbothered. “You feel as if something within you is being frayed and worn down, stretched to snapping, like at any moment something will give and everything you are will crumble.” Edward simply stared at him in shock, baffled. He nodded quickly after a moment. He looked strangely afraid.

“Yeah.” He confirmed verbally.

“I know the feeling.” Was the flat response, and Jon could see the moment Edward stopped breathing. There was a tense silence between the two of them as Edward’s grip on himself loosened.

“…You do?” His voice was barely there, trembling in the air. Terror flashed in Edward’s eyes as soon as the words escaped him. Jon was sure he wanted nothing more than to take them back. Jon wanted to look away. He wanted to look out the window or at the floor or anywhere other than at Edward. He hated to admit it, but he was nervous. He was scared.  
“You said you wanted me to hold you.” He recalled, forcing himself onward. “I rather like the idea.”

“The… idea?” Was that a whisper or a squeak?

“Of holding you.”

He was sure Ed was about to cry again.

“You don’t have to- I just said we should quit the experiment, you can stop with-”

“Edward.” Jon interrupted, no patience left. “I am not talking about the experiment. I am talking about you and I, as people. I am talking about the fact that I actually enjoy spending time with you. I am talking about the fact that I look forward to that time. I am talking about the fact that you are intelligent and intriguing and despite the sheer quantity of words you spout on a daily basis, I find myself looking forward to each and every one because you are choosing to share them with me, and because they are usually interesting and brilliant. I am talking about the fact that I would like nothing more than to stop pretending.”

Edward, for once, was speechless. Tears were gathered in his eyes as he took a step forward, and then another, approaching Jon with slow, shaky steps on knees that did not seem keen on supporting him. Jon lifted his hands automatically when Edward was close enough, setting them on his hips to hold him steady as Ed raised his arms. A warm hand settled on the side of Jon’s face, gentle and almost reverent in the way the fingertips ghosted along his skin. Edward ran the other through Jon’s hair, settling at the back and pulling him down.

The kiss was gentle to start. Hesitant. Neither of them were sure the other would approve, despite both of them obviously leaning into it and holding onto each other. It was surreal. No one had ever been interested in Jonathan before. He hadn’t the looks or the personality to attract people to him, and had little to no desire to bring people into his life. He just didn’t want anyone around him. But he wanted Edward. God help him but he wanted Edward, so badly it held a physical presence as a heavy ache in his chest. The baffling part was the possibility that Edward might want him too.

It certainly seemed as if he did. He pressed the length of his body against Jon’s, close as he could get, and Jon simply accommodated it, moving his arms around the shorter man to hold them to each other properly. Edward sighed against Jon’s lips, and it was soon discovered that even with something as simple as kissing, Ed was just as vocal as he was in conversation.

It was about ten minutes later when Jon’s phone rang. Both he and Edward froze, staring at the offending device. Jon was sitting against the headboard of his bed with Edward in his lap, both men in varying states of undress. Edward sighed harshly and ducked his head to press his lips just below Jon’s ear, kissing down his neck slowly, smirking against his skin when Jon’s hands tightened on his waist in response.

“Don’t answer it.” He whispered. “We’re busy.”

“No one ever calls me,” Jon replied, voice strained in a way that made Edward feel altogether too proud. “It might be important.”

“Or it might be a telemarketer.” He kissed back up, nibbling his boyfriends ear just to feel him shiver beneath him. “Don’t answer it.”

“It’ll just be a moment.” He assured, reaching over for the phone despite Edward’s whine of complaint as he leaned back, crossing his arms.

“I can’t believe you’re choosing a flip-phone over me.” He griped, but Jon just smiled slightly and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Nonsense. It’ll just be a moment.” Then he answered that flip-phone with a half-hearted greeting.

“Hey, Jonny!” Came the enthused reply. Harley was the only one who ever called him that. “Just wanted to check in and see how everything is this morning, make sure Eddie’s okay, y’know?” ‘Eddie’ was tapping his fingers against his crossed arms impatiently, but Jon did not feel inclined to mention that.

“Oh, he’s fine. Had a hard morning, but he’s feeling much better now.” He explained with a knowing glance at Edward, running his hand up his side along his bare skin just to watch him squirm and shiver. Delightful, Jon thought. Exquisite. Gorgeous. Once he hung up, he’d have to make sure to inform Edward of what a vision he was.

“That’s good. He was real upset. Did you guys get into a fight or somethin’?” She sounded so genuinely concerned, but when Jon opened his mouth to reply his words were cut off sharply as Edward rolled his hips in petty revenge, watching as Jon clamped his free hand over his mouth to muffle the response. “Jonny? You okay?”

“Fine-” He managed, gritting his teeth. “I’m fine. I’m just-” He glared as Edward grinned, but made no move to stop him as he began to trail kisses down Jonathan’s chest. “Just feeling a bit ill. Sorry Harleen but I should-”

“Oh! Were you drinkin’ last night too?”

“Uh- no. No, nothing like that, just-” A gasp as Edward made quick work of the rest of his clothes and pressed his lips gently to his hardening cock, the devious look in his eyes standing in stark contrast with the tenderness which pervaded his actions. “Just um- I don’t know- God, I don’t know.” He groaned in frustration, his free hand covering his eyes as Edward teased him with a look of sadistic glee.

“Are… you sure you’re okay? You sound… really distressed.” God bless her soul, she was so… genuinely caring.

“Fi-ne!” He yelped as Edward suddenly and all at once took him into his mouth and back into his throat, damn near flying off the bed at the sudden pressure of Edward swallowing around him, moaning deliberately to add to the torment. “I’m fine! Fine! I’m fine- I gotta go sorry-”

“Oh, Jonny…” Harley sighed, suddenly sounding much less concerned. “You shouldn’t answer the phone when someone’s giving you head. That’s extremely rude.”

“ _I’mhangingupnowgoodbyeHarleen!_ ” He slammed the phone shut and damn near threw it across the room as Edward pulled off of him, cackling at the chaos he had wrought. Jon just covered his burning face in shame. “I hate you.”

“Oh come on, that was funny!” Ed teased, trailing his fingers lightly along Jon’s sensitive length and quite enjoying the way it made the other man grip his own hair tightly.

“I can never leave this room again and it is entirely you’re fault.” He complained half-heartedly, not really all that mad, as Edward moved back up and moved his hands away from his face just to kiss him deeply. He pressed down against Jon, making both of them gasp. Edward simply grinned, all teeth and elation.

“Oh, I’m sure I can make it up to you.” He kissed Jon again, only to be yanked away by a tight hand in his hair, baring his neck for Jon to lean forward and graze his teeth along the delicate skin, moving his mouth up to Ed’s ear. He spoke with the barest breath of his voice, accent thick and tone low. Ed shuddered, eyes falling shut as Jon told him:

“For your sake, I certainly hope you can.”


End file.
